by Alycia Morales | Feb 15, 2025 | Inspiration
As Valentine’s Day comes and goes, I thought it would be fun to share 20 of my favorite fictional couples with y’all. Rather than stick to only novels, I added some from television and movies, as well. Do you love any on this list as much as I do? Let’s find out!
Disclaimer: I own no copyright to any of the following images or videos. I’m simply sharing them for the love of the characters. If you or someone you know owns them as wishes to be credited or have them removed, kindly email me, and I’ll be happy to do so.
Note: These are in no particular order … because picking an all-time favorite couple is too difficult to do! … sigh …
1. Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars from Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
This remains one of my all-time favorite confessions of love.
2. Jack Thornton and Elizabeth Thatcher from When Calls the Heart by Janette Oke
3. Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe from the Anne of Green Gables series by Lucy Maud Montgomery
P.S. This is still my favorite Anne. Although, I do appreciate Anne with an E.
4. Noah Calhoun and Allie Hamilton from The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
My favorite thing about this couple is how Noah reads Allie their story over and over again so she can remember while she’s battling alzheimer’s.
5. Jack and Rebecca Pearson from This Is Us
6. Frank and Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond
As much as their relationship is toxic, there has to be an underlying unconditional love to make a marriage last as long as theirs. You don’t make it 40+ years together without choosing to lvoe one another day in and day out. I couldn’t find my favorite scene between these two – a tender moment where their love is truly expressed – in a clip short enough to share. So please pass the salt.
7. Anna Brady and Declan from Leap Year
This rom-com is one of my all-time favorite go-tos when I want a good laugh and to cheer on a couple. The personalities clash. The cultures clash. And they make a tasty recipe for love.
8. Howard Wolowitz and Bernadette Rostenkowski from The Big Bang Theory
9. Pam Beesly and Jim Halpert from The Office
10. Rick Castle and Kate Beckett from Castle
Another couple fans waited seasons for their romantic relationship to happen. Oh, the tension! LOL. Caskett.
11. Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David from NCIS
If you know what “Tiva” stands for, you know why I love these two so much. And why I’m so excited to get to watch them in action again when NCIS: Tony and Ziva releases!
12. Temperance Brennan and Seeley Booth from Bones
How many seasons did we have to wait for them to finally get together? This seems to be a common theme in the crime shows I love so much.
13. Westley and Buttercup from The Princess Bride by William Goldman
If you can quote this movie’s fabulous one liners and quips, you’re my kind of person. As … you … wish!
14. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins
Of all the love triangles in YA fiction, I wanted Katniss and Peeta to end up together in the end. Gale’s a nice guy and all, but Peeta needed Katniss. And I think she found she needed him just as much as he needed her. Gale would never understand what she went through in the Games; Peeta did. Their survival depended on their love for each other.
15. Aragorn and Arwen from The Lord of the Rings series by J.R.R. Tolkien
I love both of these characters individually, as well as together. One of my favorite things about them is how she gives up immortality for love and how he steps up to be king for the benefit of the world, despite his preference to remain in the shadows. The fact that they both speak Tolkien’s beautifully created Elvish language is a mere bonus!
16. Jasper Hale and Alice Cullen from the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer
Of all the couples in this series, these two are my favorite. I love how Alice “found him” and how he trusts her to help him adjust to this new life he’s living. And how gentle she is, but at the same time she’s commanding and spunky. My other favorite Twilight couples? Dr. Cullen & Esme and Edward & Bella.
17. Tony Sparks and Pepper Potts from Marvel’s Ironman
18. The Tenth Doctor and Rose from Dr. Who
19. Jake Sully and Neytiri from Avatar
20. Lady Mary and Matthew Crawley from Downton Abbey
One more step back in time. I saved this one for last because apparently you can only watch it on YouTube, and I didn’t want to send you away from the post until the end. 😉 I loved watching Matthew win Mary’s heart after facing all her resistance. It devastated me when … well, I don’t want to spoil it if you haven’t seen the show. You’ll have to watch and see for yourself.
Before I go, I wanted to include a couple of favorite fictional couples I was rooting for all along but didn’t quite end up together in the end. But, their friendships ran deep, and that’s always a win in my book.
Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds
Duckie Dale and Andie Walsh from Pretty In Pink
Do you share my love for any of these favorite fictional couples? Who would you add to the list? Let me know in the comments!
by Alycia Morales | Dec 3, 2024 | Faith, Grief Support, Self-care
This past year, God has had me observing how Jesus handled various situations in life. How He handled grief has probably stood out to me more than anything else as I asked Him, “How should I respond to grief?”
The Death of John the Baptist
Before we get into what Jesus does when He learns of John’s death, let’s not forget that Jesus and John were cousins. He is the now-grown babe who lept in Elizabeth’s womb when Mary drew near with Jesus growing in her own womb. This is the man who baptized Jesus. They were closely related. I know my own children would be devastated to learn that their cousin had died. I can imagine Jesus, in His humanity, would grieve the loss of His beloved cousin.
The first thing Jesus does when the disciples run to Him and tell Him all they had done (including taking John’s corpse and laying it in the tomb) is to depart by boat to a deserted place. He tells His disciples, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest awhile” (Mark 6:31).
Grief requires two things: a deserted place and rest. It is okay to want to be alone in the pain of your heartbreak so you can find rest in Him.
But that’s not all that happened that day. And it’s not the only way Jesus responded to His grief. The multitudes learned that He was heading to the deserted place, and they “ran there on foot … and arrived before [the disciples] and came together to Him” (Mark 6:33).
How does Jesus respond to the multitudes interrupting His plan to rest? He is “moved with compassion for them, because they were like sheep not having a shepherd” (Mark 6:34). This instantly reminds me of John 3:16-17. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” Jesus had compassion on the multitudes. He put their needs before His own. A Servant Shepherd.
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
God’s plan isn’t to leave us in our grief. It isn’t to leave us in the valley of the shadow of death. It is to comfort us. To bring us rest in green pastures. To lead us beside still waters. To restore our souls and lead us in paths of righteousness. His righteousness.
And so He receives the multitude, speaks to them (teaches them) about the kingdom of God, and heals the sick.
But the day isn’t over yet. Jesus has one more need to fulfill.
At this point, “the day was far spent,” and the disciples are concerned for the people, as they have nothing to eat. They want to send them away, but Jesus has a better plan. A heavenly plan. While the disciples are focused on an earthly need, Jesus is focused on a heavenly solution.
“And when He had taken the five loaves and two fish, He looked up to heaven, blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to His disciples to set before them; and the two fish He divided among them all (Mark 6:41). Note what Jesus does in order to multiply the loaves and fish: He looks to heaven (seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness), then He blesses the loaves (give thanks) and breaks them (just as He will be broken on the cross, the Bread of Life). Finally, He gives the fragments to His disciples to give to the multitudes (just as He will give of Himself to save us all). We see a pattern here: look to heaven, bless, break, and give. Imagine how God could multiply the spiritual blessings in our lives if we were so willing to bless the multitudes from what He provides!
“So they all ate and were filled. And they took up twelve baskets full of fragments and of the fish. Now those who had eaten the loaves were about five thousand men” (Mark 6:42-43). In His grief, Jesus served, taught, and fed five thousand men. Would I be able to do the same? When all I want to do is go to a deserted place and rest?
Jesus put the needs of others before His own. Then, and only then, did He send the disciples ahead in the boat and send the multitudes away. From there, “He departed to the mountain to pray” (Mark 6:46). Jesus finally got the quiet time with His Father that He needed. So after having compassion on others, sharing the Bread of Life with them and offering the healing that only comes through knowing Jesus Christ, it’s important to spend time with the Father in prayer (conversation). Because He understands our grief on a whole other level.
Jesus’ Death
Remember how God gave His only begotten Son to save the world? We know from Matthew 27:45-46 that God looked away from His Son as Jesus gave His life for the multitude who believe in Him. “Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land. And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?'” Your Father in heaven knows the grief … the pain … the heartache … the sorrow … of death. He understands what it’s like to experience child loss. For three hours darkness hovered over all the land. For three hours, God looked away from His Son as He hung on the cross. Jesus knows the grief of an abandoned child. God knows the heartbreak of a parent’s greatest grief.
Thankfully, the story doesn’t end there. In Christ, we have the power of resurrection. We have the ability to raise from the grave of grief, out of sorrow and ash, and put on the garment of praise. To find joy in our salvation and an abundant, eternal life with our Father in heaven.
Because He so loved the world …
I pray “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God” this Christmas season (Ephesians 3:16-19).
by Alycia Morales | Oct 15, 2024 | Family, Health, Motherhood, Parenting, Relationships
One in four mothers will experience pregnancy or infant loss. So if you think about your four closest female friends, one of them is likely to go through a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirth, losing a child with birth defects, SIDS, or other types of infant death. This is a rather sobering thought.
According to the CDC, in America in 2022, the infant mortality rate was 5.60% for every 1,000 live births. Stillbirth, the loss of a fetus at 20 weeks or more of gestation, occur in approximately 20,000 American pregnancies annually. And miscarriages occur in approximately 15-20% of clinically recognized pregnancies in the United States annually. That’s an astounding 750,000 to 1,000,000 losses each year.
In 2000, I experienced this type of loss. Our oldest, Ezra, was two. We’d discovered we were pregnant again right about the time that my mother-in-law was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia. This led to six months of traveling back and forth to a hospital three hours from home nearly every weekend, high stress, and grief. We shared our news with Mom quickly, wanting to provide her with some hope. Something to look forward to as she began treatments. We miscarried shortly after.
Three months later, we were pregnant again. Only to lose the baby a few short weeks later … again.
Just months later, we’d lose Mom too. She passed in February 2021, which is when we became pregnant a third time. Thankfully, we carried Caleb to term, and we never miscarried again.
If you have a friend who is suffering the loss of a fetus or infant, here are a few ways you can support them in their grief:
- Recognize that everyone grieves differently, and there is no timeline for grief. Don’t put expectations on hers.
- Help with practical things. Offer to clean her house (or a room in her house), run errands, take the kids for a day so she can rest, etc.
- Talk about her baby, and call the baby by name, if given one. Allow her to talk about her baby. Don’t shut the conversation down because you’re uncomfortable. This helps her grieve.
Don’t say insensitive things like, “At least you can try again.” If you aren’t sure what to say, don’t say anything at all. Sometimes sitting in silence with a grieving mama says more than words could express.
On October 15th, we honor these mamas and the infants they’ve lost with Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Here are a few ways to honor mama and baby, or if you’re the mama, you can honor the memory of your child:
- Send a card with a handwritten note expressing that you are thinking of her.
- Light a pink or blue candle and say a prayer, asking for comfort and peace.
- Tie a pink or blue ribbon around a tree in your front yard.
- Release a butterfly in memory of baby.
- Purchase a gift.
If you would like to purchase an infant loss gift, here are a few ideas to consider:
Resources regarding infant loss:
A friend of mine, Cheri Swalwell, has a book for moms of pregnancy and infant loss entitled Hope During Heartache: True Stories of Emotional Healing from Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Death of a Child. Cheri experienced a miscarriage nearly 18 years ago. Here’s a little about why she wrote Hope During Heartache:
“I’m a member of an exclusive group that I never wanted to join. When I traveled the journey of miscarriage almost 18 years ago, I looked for a book to offer me hope, a promise that I would smile again despite the pain that engulfed me. Multiple resources were available, but I never found exactly what I needed. Most left me angry and more heartbroken.
Hope During Heartache was born out of that search. It’s a compilation of real men and women’s personal tragedies and ultimate victories, each having reached acceptance of his or her individual circumstances. Every person’s journey looks different as everyone’s pain is unique, but each one wants to be a friend, to offer hope to you who grieves your own loss. Each is a member of the above-mentioned club, and each understands the path that must be traveled, in order to reach your new normal.
Most importantly, though, each of us understands heartbreak isn’t the end. I pray you’ll find comfort knowing you’re not alone. Let this book and the individual stories held between the pages be your companion as you begin the journey of healing, as you let the One (Jesus Christ) who loves you most, begin to heal you.”
You can pick up a copy here, if you’d like to check it out.
The following are more resources available for moms of infant loss (these contain affiliate links, so if you click through and place an order, I will receive a very small payment from Amazon that may eventually add up enough to buy a cup of coffee … thank you):
Loved Baby: 31 Devotions Helping You Grieve and Cherish Your Child after Pregnancy Loss
Unexpecting: Real Talk on Child Loss
At a Loss: Finding Your Way after Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death
Miscarried Hope: Journeying with Jesus through Pregnancy and Infant Loss
And although my recent book release deals more with the loss of an older child, I do include a chapter regarding my infant losses (not an affiliate link!): Surviving the Year of Firsts: A Mom’s Guide to Grieving Child Loss
by Alycia Morales | Jul 31, 2024 | Home, Self-care
Is clutter keeping you from enjoying your home and your relationships? Do you feel overwhelmed by all the stuff that seems to have piled up in your house? Does the thought of cleaning make you tired before you’ve even started?
If you answered yes to either of the above, I’ve got you! In this post, I’ll share:
- Why we tend to hold onto clutter
- Questions to ask yourself when you want to keep it all
- Why simplicity is better than holding onto stuff
- Simple steps to cleaning out the clutter
- Questions to ask yourself when you are purging your spaces
- Where you can sell your stuff and relieve some spending guilt
- Where you can donate your stuff and make a difference in someone else’s life
Let’s get started!
Why We Tend To Hold Onto Clutter
Which of these sounds like you?
“I hold onto _________ because I remember when … and I love that memory.”
“I hold onto _________ because if I let it go, I feel like I’m letting go of a significant part of who I am.”
“I hold onto _________ because I’m afraid I’ll forget _________ if I let it go.”
“I hold onto _________ because I find comfort in having it close.” (Stuffed animals is a great example of this.)
“I hold onto _________ because I’ve already lost so much.”
“I hold onto _________ because if I let it go, I have to face the trauma I’ve experienced, and that’s too much for me to handle right now.”
“I hold onto _________ because my mom/dad/grandma held onto the same things.”
“I hold onto _________ because I might need it some day.”
“I hold onto _________ because when I lose the weight, they’ll fit again.”
“I hold onto _________ because I’m anticipating WWIII and I know I won’t be able to get it if that happens.”
“I hold onto _________ because I get overwhelmed when I look into that closet/room/attic/garage.”
There are many reasons we hold onto our things. If you look at the list above, you’ll notice they’re all attached to an emotion we have, an ideal we have, or our own behaviors and experiences.
The first step to decluttering your home is to declutter your mind.
Do a self analysis. WHY are you holding onto the things you aren’t letting go of? Why don’t you want to throw that trash away? Why don’t you want to clean out that closet? Why don’t you want to choose one or two stuffed animals/purses/jackets/pots, etc. and give the rest to a local thrift store? What is holding you captive in your clutter?
Here are a few more questions to ask yourself:
“Can I buy a new one at a later date if I get rid of this one now?”
“Will I really be losing a piece of who I am, or am I just the equivalency of this stuff?”
“Is my clutter a crutch for something deeper than I need to deal with? Wouldn’t therapy be a better option than holding onto material junk?”
“Do I hide in my clutter rather than work to mend estranged relationships?”
“Does this stuff really protect me from someone toxic or dangerous?”
“Am I using material things for comfort instead of taking my pain to the Lord, who can heal me if I allow Him to?”
“What’s one thing I will be able to do that I can’t right now because I’m too busy managing my clutter?”
“What will my life look like if I accomplish my goal of simplifying?”
“What will my life look like if I avoid my goal of simplifying?”
Why Simplicity Is Better Than Holding Onto Clutter
First, let’s look at the spiritual aspect of our overstuffed houses, hearts, and minds.
Are you putting your stuff before God in your life? Has your stuff become an idol in your mind and heart?
Here’s a quick way to tell: If you can’t give up that pair of jeans because you think you’ll fit back into them one day or you’re worried you’ll need them if the world takes a turn for the worse, you’re not trusting God to provide for you in those instances. You’re trusting in your stuff to be your provision. Now, that’s not to say that you shouldn’t be prepared for worst-case scenarios. But you also shouldn’t be hoarding out of fear.
Clutter takes up space in your life that could be taken up by time in the Word or playing a game with your family. It’s become a distraction from what matters most. Relationship. With God. With your family. It’s become an idol.
Have you ever taken a Sunday to clean your house instead of attending church? Maybe you got so busy during the week that you just didn’t have time to clean, and now it’s bothering you to look at the mess your house has become. So, you “take Sunday off” and clean your home so you can have peace of mind and heart. Has your busy schedule and your desire for a peace that will likely last less than twenty-four hours just superseded God’s commands to: a) put Him first above all else, b) not forsake the fellowship of others, and c) keep holy the Sabbath?
Please know I’m preaching to myself here, too. You’re not the only one.
Simplicity allows for so much space in our life to be filled with the things that matter most: And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:30-31, NKJV). Let’s break this verse down.
First, we are commanded to love the Lord, our God, with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. The question is, when our lives are cluttered with emotional baggage, traumatic experiences, packed schedules, overwhelming tasks, and overflowing closets, how are we to achieve this command from our Father? Hint: We can’t. Our clutter takes our focus off of God and puts it on ourselves and the things that weigh us down, zapping us of our strength. This is also known as idolatry, this putting anything else above God in our hearts.
Second, we are commanded to “love your neighbor as yourself.” When our lives are full of all this clutter, do we truly love ourselves? Are we running through the fast-food drive-thru to pick up dinner, knowing we’re too lazy or too busy to cook a healthy meal at home that we should be enjoying with our family gathered around a table? The likelihood is that we don’t love our current weight, diabetes or hypertension, or how run down we feel as a result of eating like this. Not to mention the emotional suck and mental fog that ensues as a result of our personal choices.
Again, I’m right there with you.
I think it’s time we purge some clutter from our lives and give ourselves a deposit of time in our day to focus on what matters most in life. Don’t you?
Simple Steps to Cleaning Out the Clutter
Step One: Choose one room or one space in one room to start.
Start small. Don’t look at the big picture. That will just overwhelm you, and your brain will turn off your willpower to make simplicity happen. Look at a small, focused area. Remember, to walk a mile, you take one step at a time.
Step Two: Throw away all the trash in that area.
You don’t need to keep all the receipts unless you need to balance your bank account or file them for tax purposes, in which case, those tasks need to be added to your to-do list. You don’t need to keep all the takeout containers or deli containers. You’re likely to have more next week.
Step Three: Put the dirty dishes in the kitchen and the dirty laundry in the laundry room.
Don’t get distracted. Get right back to the area you’re working on. The rest will still be there when you’re finished with this one area.
Step Four: Sort and Organize.
Start making piles.
For example, if you’re in your bedroom closet, hang all your clothes according to item (i.e., T-shirts, dress shirts, sweaters, pants, skirts, dresses …). You may even want to hang them by color per item. Now you have an idea of what you have.
As another example, if you’re in your dining room or home office, sort your paperwork according to purpose (i.e., medical, household, school/education, business …). Create a file for each, using file folders or bins, and place them in a filing cabinet or drawer or on a bookshelf. Now you are only looking at a small, gathered system rather than a mountain of papers strewn across a table, desk, or floor.
Do this with every item in the area you’ve chosen to work with until you’re finished.
Step Five: Move to the next area, and repeat steps one through four.
Step Six: Note your accomplishments for the day.
Have a favorite drink or soak in the tub. Whatever relaxes you (except shopping), take a few moments to acknowledge that you’ve done something to work toward an important goal, and enjoy it.
It’s time to purge!
Once you have moved through every area of a room or each room in your house and completed steps one through five, it’s time to begin the clutter purge. Follow the steps below to begin simplifying your home:
Step One: Gather bins and boxes.
You’re going to need three main categories to sort into. 1. Keep 2. Donate or Sell 3. Toss
You may have an additional category of “Come Back To,” so long as you don’t abuse it.
You’ll want to gather enough boxes and/or bins to sort each area of your room or each room in your home. Label them with your categories, and place them in the middle of the floor.
Step Two: Choose one type of item or area to sort and begin sorting.
Again, start small. Especially if you know you’re emotionally attached to that type of item. Use your bins and sort the items into them. The first two categories are self-explanatory. Toss means any item that is in less than fair shape, meaning it has holes, tears, stains, is broken beyond repair or use, or has no real value. Please note that unless they are brand new in their original packaging, socks and underwear are not saleable. You also probably want to toss used makeup.
Step Three: Organize.
When you’re finished sorting, place your keep items where they belong in your area. For example, put books on the bookshelf, clothes in the closet or dresser, jewelry in the jewelry box, etc.
Step Four: Return to the Questionable Items
Ask yourself the questions from the “Questions to Ask Yourself” section below and make your final decisions. Put the items in their respective places.
Step Four: Consolidate.
As you go through the area you’re working on, you’ll want to consolidate your boxes and bins accordingly. Combine all your Donate/Sell items into one bin or box until it’s full, then start another.
Step Five: Repeat until you are finished.
Step Six: Note Your Accomplishments for the Day
Have a favorite drink or soak in the tub. Whatever relaxes you (except shopping), take a few moments to acknowledge that you’ve done something to work toward an important goal, and enjoy it.
NOTE: Unless you are a hoarder, you should be able to get through a room in your home within a couple of days. Give yourself a week if you need to. I come home from work and dedicate one hour to an area per evening. Then I use an entire Saturday to finish the task at hand. Sundays are for rest.
Questions to Ask Yourself When You Are Purging Your Spaces
Just in case the questions you asked yourself at the beginning of this post weren’t enough to help you simplify your home by getting rid of your clutter, here are more to ask when you’re facing that mountain of stuff you need to sort:
“When is the last time I used this?” If it is more than two years, sell or donate it.
“Will I use this again in the next year?” If not, sell or donate it.
“Does this item truly bring me joy?” If not, you don’t need to keep it.
“Do I truthfully like this item?” If not, you don’t need to keep it.
“Does this item fit me right now?” If not, sell or donate it.
“How many of this item do I truly need?” Only keep as many as you truly need. Sell or donate the rest.
“Do I have more than one item related to this memory?” Keep the one or two that mean the most. Get rid of the rest.
“Was this a major part of my childhood or my child’s childhood? Did it truly matter to me or my child?” If not, sell or donate it.
“Which do I need more in this moment? Money or the item I’m holding?” Sell it.
“Which do I need more in this moment? Peace and sanity or the item I’m holding?” Donate it.
Removing the Mountain from Your Home (& Your Life)
Sometimes it’s difficult to let go of things because we harbor guilt. It sounds like this:
“I just bought this last week.”
“I overspent my budget.”
“My mother/aunt/friend/sister bought me this. I don’t want to offend her by getting rid of it.”
“I knew it didn’t fit, but I bought it anyway.”
“I bought this for so-and-so but never gave it to them.”
“My child/parent/spouse is gone, and if I get rid of this, I’m going to lose him/her all over again.”
These thoughts can be debilitating, to say the least. Having to purge an item or a room full of belongings that hold specific meaning and memories can be a daunting task.
But what if we reframed the thought?
When my 19-year-old son died in a car accident, I decided to bless his siblings, cousins, and friends with some of his belongings. Each one got to choose from his Lego collection and his clothing. We kept his acoustic guitar, his cowboy boots and hat, and a few smaller belongings that held sentimental value (and fit inside his toolbox). The rest went to the local thrift store or in the trash, depending on its value.
Below are nine more ideas on how to purge your home of your sell/donate items:
- Have an Auction or an Estate Sale. This is a good process to use if you have a lot of valuable items or are trying to downsize to move into a smaller home. You may wish to hire an estate sale company to assist with this, as they will be able to help you accurately charge for your antiques.
- Have a Yard Sale. Choose a weekend, make some signs, post online in your local community groups on social media, and put price tags on your items. Invite friends and family to join you and make it a multi-family sale. Or watch for your local community yard sale to come around this year.
- Sell at the Local Flea Market. Tables are usually fairly reasonable to rent. You’ll get more foot traffic than your typical yard sale, providing you are there on a busy weekend. Try to ask other vendors which weekends are the best for traffic.
- Sell on Facebook Marketplace. This works very well for furniture, brand name shoes and clothing, books, seasonal items, jewelry, sports and fitness equipment, appliances, plants, tools, trending toys, baby items, electronics, instruments, and vehicles. Beware of scammers if you choose to use this outlet.
- Sell on eBay. This works very well for electronics, home products, clothing and shoes, accessories, sporting goods, car parts and accessories, pet supplies, collectibles, and handcrafted items. Be sure to research how to best price your items and charge for shipping on eBay. I’ve made some money selling on this platform, but I’ve also lost some money. Books with collectible and out-of-print covers sell well here, by the way.
- Sell to a Consignment Store. This is a good route to go if you have a lot of brand name clothing, shoes, and accessories that are currently trending.
- Donate to your local children’s, women’s, and homeless shelters. When my daughter was eight years old and didn’t want to clean her room, I warned her that if she didn’t have it finished by the next morning, I was going to gather up whatever was left out and give it away. She learned the next day that Mom wasn’t playing. I rounded up an entire 30-gallon tote of Barbie items and donated them to a local women’s shelter, where girls valued what they had enough to clean up when they finished playing.
- Donate to a local thrift shop that serves its community. I’m not talking about your typical Goodwill here. Do some research and find a local thrift store that donates from its proceeds to help a local charitable organization. I know of at least a handful in my local area that do this.
- Bless someone you know has a need. Has a local family just lost everything in a fire? Has a father just lost a job? Has someone’s lawn mower recently broken? Find a family member, friend, or neighbor who needs what you’re purging. Love your neighbor as yourself and pass it on to them.
Once you’ve simplified your home, I hope you’re able to breathe a sigh of relief, enjoy some time with your family, and make it to church on Sunday. If you have any other tips on removing clutter from your home and your life, I’d love to hear them in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | Jun 8, 2021 | Book Review, Christian Books, Nonfiction Books, Reading
I decided to read Imagine Heaven by John Burke shortly after our 19-year-old son, Caleb, died in a car accident. I saw a book review on Facebook (although, I didn’t read the review). That was the first I’d heard of it. Then, people started recommending books to me, and Imagine Heaven was one of them. (NOTE: If you click through my links to amazon to purchase this wonderful book, you are clicking through my affiliate link. I will earn some pennies to fund my reading habits, but you will not be charged any extra for your purchase. Thank you! I love books!)
Imagine Heaven‘s subtitle reads: Near-death Experiences, God’s Promises, and the Exhilarating Future that Awaits You. And that is exactly what the book is about.
If you struggle to get through the first chapters of the book, I did too. Some of the experiences shared are valuable reading, but I really wanted to get to chapter four, where Mr. Burke gets into what Heaven is like.
John does a great job of basing the findings of these NDEs on a Scriptural foundation. In doing so, He reveals what God says in His Word about Heaven and how these people have experienced bits and pieces of it during their brief encounters with the Father, Jesus, angels, and loved ones who have gone before them. Each of these stories affirms God’s amazing love for us.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. It provides a wonderful glimpse of what he or she is experiencing, provided they had a solid relationship with Jesus Christ and had accepted Him as their Lord and Savior. (See John 3:16-17, John 14, Matthew 25:1-13) Honestly, I can’t see how anyone could deny the Truth of God’s love for us and His eternal plan for us after reading the accounts of so many NDEs. I’ve always loved the descriptions of Heaven within the Scriptures. This book only magnified them more, and I continue to long for the day I get to experience the Father’s love on this level.
One of my favorite parts of Imagine Heaven is found on page 58, within the chapter titled “A Better Body.” Marv Bestemen, a retired bank president, was having surgery and is recalling a NDE he had after his family had left his hospital room for the night. “Standing in a short line of people, I observed the other thirty-five or so heavenly travelers, people of all nationalities. Some were dressed in what I thought were probably the native costumes of their lands…” On pages 68-69, in the same chapter, we get more from his story. “…he looked down and noticed he no longer wore his hospital gown; he was dressed in what he might normally wear to take his wife out…He later noticed that those he met in Heaven seemed to be dressed in what they felt most comfortable in on earth.”
If any of you knew my son, Caleb, you would have chuckled as I did while reading this. I can just picture my son standing before Jesus wearing his cowboy hat and boots, thumbs wrapped around a large belt buckle, shirt tucked in, smiling, with his guitar slung over his shoulder. He’s probably performing his newly written song for the Lord.
I must confess: Early in the reading of this book, I found myself asking God why Caleb couldn’t have been one to have a NDE and come back to life and a full recovery from his accident wounds. I wavered between jealousy that he is in Heaven with the Lord, experiencing all the wonders of eternity with Jesus and wishing desperately that he was still here with us. As I read farther into the book, I became more and more okay with the fact that Caleb remained with the Lord, rather than returning to us. Maybe it’s because it took me four months to read it, and with every passing day the pain of grief lessens little by little. Maybe it’s because I have come to terms with our temporary separation. Only God truly knows the deepest issues in our hearts and the answers we seek until eternity greets us. And I am okay with that too.
Purchase a copy of Imagine Heaven by John Burke by clicking here…
by Alycia Morales | May 15, 2021 | Discipleship, Faith, Faith Journaling, Health, Lifestyle, Mind, Planning, Self-care, Soul, Spirit, Testimony
In the winter of 2009, I had a minor midlife crisis. Overcome with anxiety, I spent a week wondering who I really was, what I really wanted to do with my life, and where I was in that journey.
What triggered my midlife crisis?
We’d moved for the second time in what would be an 8-move journey with my husband’s construction career. This time, we didn’t have the money to immediately set up internet services in our new home. Since I’d been blogging and running an Etsy shop for nearly a year, this lack of access to those sent me into a panic attack. Shortness of breath. Shaking. Irritable. The whole thing.
Shaken by the fact that I was having a panic attack, I immediately put myself into “figure it out” mode. What was causing it? Being a woman of deep faith in the Lord, I knew this midlife crisis wasn’t “normal.”
As I folded laundry one afternoon and cried (literally – ugly cried) out to God, I asked Him one question. “What do You want me to do for You?”
Here was my thought process:
I’ve been faithfully serving God for thirteen years. I’ve been serving my husband and working on our marriage for eleven years. I’ve been taking care of our children for that long, as well (I gained a stepson when we married.). And in the midst of it all, I’ve lost parts of myself. Parts I enjoyed. Dreams. Goals. Talents.
What did I do about it?
I told God I didn’t want to bury my talents or put them on a shelf in my home. I wanted to be that servant who took the talents her Master gave her and use them to gain more. More talents. Glory for Him. Donations for His kingdom on earth. Income for my family. I wanted to do something that was just for me at a personal level. Something that would bring me joy that wasn’t dependent upon the church, my husband, or my children. (I hope that makes sense.)
I wanted to commune with God on a personal, intimate level and use what He had given me to bring glory to Him.
Because when we have a testimony of His goodness to share with others, we glorify Him. And since He is the Creator, I wanted to create with Him.
This incident and a few others led me to looking deep within myself to discover who He created me to be and what He created me to do.
What was the answer?
His answer was “Write for Me.”
Which made perfect sense. As a youth, I always kept a journal, read avidly, and wrote a whole lot of what I called poetry. I loved writing papers, participating in yearbook committee, and sending letters to my friends and cousin. I had a few dreams of writing throughout my life: writing for glossy magazines for teens (like Bop, Teen Beat, YM, or Seventeen), an article published in Focus on the Family’s magazine. A novel.
It is a talent He gave me before I was born. It was in my DNA from the start. I am called to be a writer. To write for Him. To encourage and inspire others with my words.
Are you in a midlife crisis?
Maybe you’re in a mid-life crisis right now. Maybe you aren’t sure who you are or what you should be doing with yourself or your life. Maybe you’ve leaned on others to determine your worth or what you should do. I’m here to tell you that you can figure it out. It just takes a little soul searching.
First, who are you spiritually?
You already know that I am a Christian by faith. My identity comes from knowing who I am in Christ. If you aren’t a Christian by faith, where do you stand in faith? Are you a different religion? Do you serve a different god? Who does that god say you are? Are you only serving yourself? Does that work for you? Or does it feel like your life is in a downward spiral? Would you consider a different faith?
Once you identify where you stand on a spiritual level (because that determines not only what your belief says about you, it also determines how you handle life situations, how you treat others, and your place in eternity), you can move on to looking at other aspects of your life and who you are in the midst of them.
Second, who are you in this season of life?
I am a wife, mother of four biological children (one is out of the home already, one passed away in January of 2021, one is about to graduate high school, and one has a couple of years left with us), stepmom of one (he’s been gone for years), and foster/adoptive mom of one (she’s graduated and moved out of our home). I have two dogs and one cat that I care for. I run kids around all day. I write. I teach writing at a conference each year. I craft. I run my household. I’m busy in this season of life.
The first thing I recognized when I was conversing with God is that these things do not define me. They are a part of who I am, but they are not me as a whole. As a whole, I am a Jesus Girl. My relationship with Him drives everything else in my life. Affects everything else in my life.
What is the center of your life right now? In this season of life?
Third, what is your character like?
Character and personality are two different things. Personality is a surface presentation of yourself. Are you introverted or extroverted? Are you always bubbly or does a shadow hang over you? Are you funny or the last one to get the joke? Character is the core of who you are. It’s your moral standards. It’s how you treat others. It’s things like trustworthiness, loyalty, honesty, a desire to love others as you love yourself. Or, it can be the opposite. You could be truly evil at your core. You get the picture.
Is there a character trait you have that you wish you didn’t? Is it affecting your life in negative ways? Sometimes we have to deal with those in order to become who we know we’re called to be. And that’s okay.
Fourth, what gifts and talents do you have?
What are you really good at? What comes naturally to you?
For me, it’s encouraging and inspiring others. It’s writing. It’s creating via crafts, art, and photography. I’m a very visual person. It’s how I learn. I’m good at seeing the best in other people. In recognizing truth about people. I love helping others so they can be the person and do the things they want to be and do.
These are gifts and talents. Knowing what you’re really good at will help you figure out what you should be doing with your life.
Finding Joy
These are just a few of the things I questioned and resolved in my search for who I am and what God wanted me to be doing with my life in order to live abundantly, enjoy myself, and best relate with others.
Because when we have these things figured out, life gets a little easier. And a lot more enjoyable. The stress decreases. Energy increases. Depression dissipates. Joy takes its place. And the midlife crisis comes to an end.
What’s one thing you discovered about yourself today? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
by Alycia Morales | May 5, 2021 | Creativity, Planning
My favorite planner system is The Happy Planner from Me & My Big Ideas. The versatility it provides, as well as the variety of styles available are two of the reasons I favor it. In this post, I share how to get started with The Happy Planner.
How did I get started with my Happy Planner?
A friend of mine, Molly Jo Realy, gifted me with a Mini Happy Planner. I used it as a gratitude journal. It was the perfect size to write a daily entry about what God had done that day or what I was thankful for.
Shortly after, I bought my first planner.
I use my Happy Planners for several things. My “catch all” planner is where I keep track of my household’s busy schedule, which bills are due, upcoming events, and my wellness journey. My faith planner is where I take notes on Sundays and as I study God’s Word throughout the week. I have a planner for each of my book projects. One planner is where I keep my business plans, goals, and checklists. I have several Happy Notes (notebooks) where I journal, process my thoughts, and take notes when I’m learning online or at a conference. Finally, I use the Big planners for memory keeping.
Where can I find a Happy Planner?
Happy Planners can be found in multiple places. I get mine at the local craft stores, such as Joann’s, Michaels, and Hobby Lobby. I’ve also seen them at Walmart during the back-to-school season. You can also order them online directly through The Happy Planner website.
What should I start with?
I highly recommend starting with a Classic planner. One that will suit your scheduling needs.
What size should I buy?
Size would depend on what you wish to do with it. If you are only keeping track of your schedule, a Mini Happy Planner may suffice. Do you have a child or two or multiples? Are you fostering? A chronic kid mom? If you have a smaller household size and fewer appointments, a Classic Happy Planner will work just fine. For those who have crazier schedules, a Big Happy Planner may be best for you. If you are homeschooling, then I recommend a Big Happy Planner.
Mini Happy Planners are about the size of a regular journal. Classic Happy Planners are about the size of a composition notebook. And Big Happy Planners are the size of a regular notebook.
Disc Love
Another thing that I love about Happy Planner is the expansion rings. If you want to add pages to a planner of any size, you can swap out the discs for a larger size. There are mini, classic, and expansion sized discs. The pages are super easy to pull out and put back in, as well.
There are so many options! How do I pick?
Getting started with the Happy Planner can be complicated with so many options to choose from. Especially if you’re one who gets easily overwhelmed by such a task. The question to ask yourself is: What is my style?
Happy Planner has something for everyone.
Do you like bright colors or muted colors or black and white?
Do you like flowers? Books? Animals? Rainbows? Art? Disney?
Do you like to garden? Are you a teacher? Do you faith journal?
Are you a farmhouse fanatic? Homebody? Fitness guru? Do you really want to take care of yourself this year?
There are planners for all of the above and then some.
What layouts do The Happy Planners come in?
Every planner has a year in review at the beginning of the planner and a monthly spread at the start of each month, prior to the weekly spreads.
Dashboard Layout
The Dashboard layout has a “dashboard” on the right page of the weekly spread where you can list things you need to buy, appointments or meetings for the week, take notes, etc. On the left side of the page are the days of the week with enough space to write things in. For my household, I love this planner.
The Vertical layout has three rows for each day of the week. The days of the week are laid out vertically across two pages. This is classic Happy Planner style. It’s the layout I’ve used most.
The Hourly layout is also vertical, but instead of having three boxed rows for each day, it’s lined for hourly scheduling. At the top of the column for each day, there’s room for your top three priorities for the day. Or stickers! The days of the week are spread vertically across two pages.
The Colorblock Layout is also a vertical layout, but it has 6 colorblocks in each row.
The Horizontal layout has the days of the week horizontally spread across two pages. The Minis tend to have this layout. The spaces are typically lined. And there’s one space each week for notes.
The Monthly Layout is perfect if you like to-do lists. In this layout, there are pages at the front of the month where you can set goals and make plans, take notes, etc. The following pages are lined in blocks so that you can write a daily checklist and check off items as you go through your day. There are also 2 pages for notes at the end of the month. I like to use this for my business planner.
For you teachers and homeschoolers, the Teacher layout has a planner-book-style layout where the days of the week go horizontally down the left side of the left page with lined columns in blocks across the rest of the left and all of the right page.
What about all these accessories?
Accessories are an individual thing. Do you like to keep things together? You may want to purchase a pack of folders. If you’re a sticker fanatic like I am, you’ve got plenty to choose from. Do you like sticky notes? They have them. I take a lot of notes, so I love buying their paper packs, which come in a variety of types and all the sizes. For those who love bullet journaling, they have dot grid paper. There is lined, blank, and grid paper as well. They also have plastic envelopes, which are handy for budgeting.
What I love about the accessories is that they are all themed with the planners.
The one accessory I recommend you buy with your planner is a dashboard. I know we talked about the dashboard layout above, but this dashboard is different. It’s a plastic, tabbed divider that you can use in your planner to mark where you are within your planner or divide your planner into sections. The tab will stick up from the top of your planner, not the side, where your monthly dividers are.
These are basic tips for getting started with The Happy Planner. For more information, please visit The Happy Planner’s Getting Started page, where you’ll find four short videos that explain the basics of Happy Planning.
For ideas on layouts and how to decorate your planner, you can find a multitude of pictures and videos on social media.
You can search the following hashtags on Instagram:
#mambihappyplanner
#thehappyplanner
#planahappylife
#mambi
#meandmybigideas
Or find my planner Instagram @alyplanslife and follow me for planner layouts and designs, tips, and more.
You can search the following on Pinterest:
Happy Planner
Happy Planner Ideas
Happy Planner Layout
Happy Planner Ideas Inspiration
Happy Planner Ideas Create 365
What’s one thing you look for in a planner? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
